There are Two Types of Anxiety. Understanding Them Can Help you Heal from Anxiety
By an Anxiety Therapist in Denver, Colorado
If you’re struggling with anxiety and aren’t sure how to manage it, you’re not alone! Having an understanding of what our brains are doing during an anxious experience can have a huge impact on our ability to manage anxiety overall, and really, to make it feel less overwhelming.
The First Type of Anxiety: Content Anxiety
Content Anxiety is the kind of anxiety that is generally tied to a specific problem or situation, and mostly resolves when the situation resolves.
Let’s say you have one of those meetings-with-no-description with your boss Thursday at 1pm. You might be understandably anxious about it as the meeting approaches. But by the time it’s over on Thursday afternoon, probably a lot of that anxiety will have resolved. That’s because the meeting is a specific event at a specific time. Once it’s over, you know what the meeting was about, you probably have some next steps, and maybe there are still questions for the future. But chances are, you’re no longer wondering things like “Is this meeting going to result in me getting fired?” “Did I miss some huge deadline?” because now, you have the answers to those questions now. Even if you got answers you didn’t want to hear, at least you know.
We all deal with Content Anxiety at times. This is a pretty normal kind of worry. And generally, Content Anxiety doesn’t last all that long. We have a problem, we deal with it, it resolves, and the anxiety subsides.
The Second Type of Anxiety: Process Anxiety
So what is Process Anxiety? Process Anxiety is not connected to a specific event at a specific time. It’s more vague, even existential. Ultimately, it can be linked directly with past trauma and unprocessed core emotions that are being stored in your nervous system.
Think about some of the major issues going on in the United States and around the world this year. Inflation and rising prices, ongoing effects of the pandemic, natural disasters and climate change, the war in Ukraine, uncertainty in the housing market, ongoing political tensions… so many things. Do we have a specific date of when any of these things will end? Nope. Do we even know exactly when some of these issues started? Not really. The anxiety that can show up as a result of worrying about these issues are examples of Process Anxiety.
When we’re worried about things and we don’t know how they’re going to resolve, there’s not really a problem we can solve here, is there? It’s not like Content Anxiety, which includes a concrete problem or situation that can be resolved. Many of the solutions to these problems are in the future, where we can’t get to them. Other times, the problem is unreachable not because it’s in the future, but because it’s in the past. That kind of worry often looks more like ruminating, regret, or woulda-coulda-shoulda thinking. And a lot of this stuff is completely out of our control.
This is why anxiety often feels really overwhelming and never-ending. Because we can’t control the outcome in the future and it’s linked to something unprocessed and stuck deep within our nervous system from the past, we end up in this spiral of anxiety that has nowhere to go and isn’t being processed through. It might look shutting down, or restless energy, or racing thoughts, or even a panic attack.
Using RAIN to Address Process Anxiety
One of my favorite tips for beginning to manage anxiety is called RAIN. It stands for:
R- recognize
A- allow
I- investigate
N- nurture
The R:
As soon as you realize that what you’re experiencing is Process Anxiety, and it’s time to address it, you’ve accomplished the R — Recognize.
The A:
The A is the simplest, and yet most difficult, part of the process. You have to allow the anxiety to be there. Sometimes, anxiety tricks us into thinking that it will completely consume us if we don’t get rid of it. But this isn’t true! Anxiety is a biological response in your body that is often connected to emotions like worry. The anxiousness can be frustrating and unpleasant, but it can also just be there without controlling your emotions.
Even if you experience the worst case scenario- a panic attack- it will not kill you. I don’t say that flippantly. Panic attacks can feel just like heart attacks! I’ve experienced panic attacks and I know they’re awful. But research shows that most panic attacks last less than 20 minutes. Your body literally can’t get worse than that. And just like with physics- what goes up, must come down. The physical feelings of panic will start to go down after several minutes, because there’s no other direction for them to go. It’s kind of like Anxiety Gravity.
THE I:
Once you’ve allowed yourself to sit with the anxiety and let it gradually start to have less control over you, you’re ready to move onto the I in RAIN.
The I for Investigate is when we start to think about what the anxiety really means. Have you ever gotten incredibly anxious over something you know isn’t that bad, but you just can’t seem to stop it? That’s actually pretty common, and it’s exactly why it’s important to go through the Investigate step. If you know the surface level thing isn’t that bad, and yet here you are with anxiety, it’s probably because the surface level thing isn’t the real thing that’s making you experience the anxiety.
Let’s say that you’re anxious because you texted your partner about something and you received the dreaded response….. “k.” And now your mind is spiraling all over the place… Is he ok? Is he mad at me? Maybe he’s just busy… or maybe he’s ignoring me on purpose. That’s gotta be it, he’s mad at me. Why is he mad? What did I do wrong? What if he’s at someone’s house cheating on me? Or maybe he’s getting fired from his job and we won’t be able to pay rent. Or maybe he got into a horrible accident. Or maybe …. Or maybe….
Right? Phew, that escalated quickly. But so many of us have been there. Imagine that you have given yourself time to allow this anxiety to be there without judging it, and now you’re ready to investigate this anxiety response.
First, when you hear that response, “k,” what’s really the core emotion underneath the anxiety that came up? And then let’s investigate what core need the emotion (or set of emotions) connected to.
From the places your mind went to above, I might guess you’re feeling sadness, fear, or likely a mix of both. I might also guess that there’s an attachment need linked to those deeper emotions beneath the anxiety. Maybe you’re scared that your needs in the relationship are being ignored by your partner or have a deeper fear of something being very wrong. Go another layer deeper in your mind and your emotions. Have there been times in your life when you experienced being ignored or abandoned in a very legitimate way? If so, that was probably incredibly painful. Same thing if you’ve been cheated on before, or you’ve been thrown into a financial crisis before, or you’ve had horrible, relationship-ending fights before. All of those things are legitimately terrible…
And… none of them are necessarily what is happening right now. There is no evidence for any of that stuff in the conversation at hand. Instead, this is Process Anxiety at work, reminding your nervous system of traumatic events from the past and causing the same emotional response in the present.
Investigating is about recognizing what you’re truly anxious about (one of those terrible scenarios) so that you can give yourself some compassion and space to move through the stored core emotions and unmet attachment needs – in the above scenario, being fear, sadness, and attachment wounding of neglect and abandonment.
The N:
The N, for Nurture, is about taking care of yourself. What could you do, in this moment, to soothe your body and mind? Nurture is all about finding simple ways to help yourself relax and feel a little bit better.
Nurture doesn’t mean you’re trying to solve the problem. Because remember, we’re in Process Anxiety. The situation you’re anxious about isn’t the problem. Anxiety is the problem. The past trauma you experienced is the problem. And there are absolutely things you can do to help relieve some of the anxiety. You have control over that and it’s something tangible you can absolutely hold space for.
Some of my favorite nurturing skills are taking a hot bath, doing some deep breathing, going for a walk (or really any intentional movement), snuggling with my dogs, and calling a friend. These things can be very simple. The only goal is to help your body feel a little better and give your nervous system the change to regulate.
Next Steps
If it sounds like RAIN could be helpful for you, I’d encourage you to try it the next time you notice Process Anxiety! Sometimes, just understanding the difference between Content and Process Anxiety can really help the anxiety feel more manageable. As anxiety therapists, we also have a lot more information about anxiety and ways to understand and work with it on another anxiety blog and our anxiety therapy page.
If you realize that you’d like to find support with your anxiety, anxiety therapy could be a great next step. Each of the anxiety counselors at CZ Therapy Group can support you in your process of moving through past wounds and deep emotions that lead to anxiety. We offer in person anxiety counseling in Denver, Colorado and online appointments throughout the state. Contact us to connect with an anxiety therapist on our team!