The Fawn Trauma Response

By Jasmine Hansen (she/they), Trauma + Relationship therapist

Trauma responses are a protection or adaptation to survive and cope with experiences that overwhelm our nervous system. These responses are often automatic as they are developed to respond to stress quickly. There is no “right” or one way to respond to trauma because trauma responses can be as diverse as we are as humans.

Western conceptualizations of trauma responses have been historically categorized as “fight or flight”. However, we have learned that our bodies and nervous systems are too adaptive and intelligent to be limited to two responses. This blog will share information on a lesser-known trauma response called “fawn”.

What is Fawn Trauma Response?

The fawn trauma response occurs when we have learned to prioritize the emotions and needs of others and disconnect from our own needs and emotions. Often called people-pleasing or codependence. Though, it’s not as simple as wanting to please others.

Those who experience a fawn trauma response have learned to prioritize the needs and emotions of others for their own safety, to access basic human needs like connection and validation, and to avoid conflict.

This response is commonly developed in childhood where a caregiver is both the source of care and a threat. For example, a child will preemptively try to appease or “fawn” to the caregiver to avoid abuse, violence, yelling, conflict, or any consequence or situation that feels unsafe.

The fawn trauma response does not have to originate with childhood trauma from a caregiver. We can be in relationships as adults where we learn to appease another person as a way of protecting ourselves too.

Further, there are many systemic and cultural factors that may also impact the likelihood of developing a fawn trauma response. Like race, gender, and sexuality. When we learn that our bodies or identities put us at a higher risk for violence and harm, we may learn a fawn trauma response to appease those with power in order to avoid conflict and keep ourselves safe.

The fawn trauma response does help keep us safe, but it also hurts us as we become more and more disconnected from ourselves.

Those who experience this response often find themselves in repeating patterns of fawning in all areas of their life. Even in relationships where they have safety. This holds us back from being ourselves and experiencing fulfilling relationships and connections with others.

Signs of a Fawn Trauma Response:

·        Difficulty saying “no” to others, setting boundaries, or standing up for yourself

·        Feeling responsible for others’ reactions and emotions

·        Over-apologizing and over-explaining

·        Struggling to connect with your emotions, needs, and identity

·        Repressing your needs to make everyone else around you happy

·        Depression, chronic illness and pain, and anxiety

·        When in conflict, your instinct is to appease the other person who is upset or angry

·        Feeling angry with yourself, being self-critical, and often experiencing guilt

·        Consulting with others about how you should feel or respond in a situation

·        Feeling burnt out and exhausted by constantly trying to make everyone in your life happy

If these signs resonate with you, you may experience a fawn trauma response. Fawning can be extremely exhausting and painful. Those who experience this response work so hard to be understanding, compassionate, and adapt to the needs and emotions of others. In return, they are so critical and hard on themselves.

What would it look like if you could extend the understanding and compassion you give to others back to yourself? You and your needs deserve your compassion, recognition, and energy too.

Healing From a Fawn Trauma Response

·        A trauma therapist can help you to identify patterns of fawning, heal from trauma or experiences where the patterns may have originated, and explore new possibilities when you are triggered to connect to your needs. Therapy can also help us build our connection with ourselves. As well as our identities, learn about boundaries, and build self-confidence.

·        Movement can also be helpful for recovering from fawning. Activities like yoga, dance, walking—whatever movement activities you enjoy—help us by building confidence in the connection to our bodies and needs.

·        Similar to movement, mindfulness practices like meditation, guided imagery, journaling, and breathwork can also increase our connection to our bodies. Which in turn can help us build confidence in our needs.

About The Writer

Jasmine Hansen (she/they) is a Denver trauma and relationship therapist who focuses on therapy for 2SLGBTQ+ couples and individuals, trauma, and identity. Jasmine holds a space that is caring, authentic, and affirming of all identities and experiences.

If you’d like to connect with Jasmine to learn more about what it would be like to work together, feel free to reach out for a free consultation.

Ready to Start Trauma Therapy in Denver, CO?

Take the first step towards healing and empowerment by seeking trauma therapy at Chadley Zobolas Therapy Group. Break free from the grip of your fawn trauma response and rediscover your inner strength. Your journey towards emotional resilience and a brighter future starts now – prioritize your well-being by following these three simple steps to get started:

1. Reach out to schedule a free 20-minute consult call at Chadley Zobolas Therapy Group.

2. Connect with a caring Denver trauma therapist at CZTG for your first session.

3. Learn to break free from trauma and find your inner strength!

Other CZTG Therapy Offerings in Denver, CO

ANXIETY THERAPY COUPLES COUNSELING BODY IMAGE THERAPY TEEN THERAPY LGBTQ+ THERAPY EMDR THERAPY