Using EMDR To Break the Cycle of Self-Fulfilling Prophecies: Insight from an EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO.
By Jordan Kurtz (she/her), MA, LPCC, EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO
As a Denver EMDR therapist, one core tenant of our practice is to utilize a holistic therapeutic approach, meaning the intersection between our experiences and emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and our bodies are 1) all seen as important, and 2) explored with curiosity.
Today, our blog zeroes in on the specific relationship between our thoughts and behaviors and how the trauma processing tool Eye Movement Desensitization Reprocessing (EMDR) can positively alter this relationship.
What is EMDR Therapy?
Several other blogs on our site break down EMDR therapy in full (see Healing With Fewer Words and Bringing EMDR Therapy to Life for a greater explanation of EMDR’s physiological underpinnings and what a typical session looks like), but its essence boils down to a few central premises and mechanisms:
Premise 1: Traumatic memories are storied within the central nervous system maladaptively (aka “yuck gets stuck” in our brains and bodies when we experience trauma)
Premise 2: Traditional talk therapy and other healing modalities can often times mend the tip of the iceberg but do not impact the deeply integrated images, smells, touches, tastes, thoughts and emotions associated with the trauma at the time it occurred and was stored.
Mechanism 1: Denver EMDR therapy entails Bilateral Stimulation (movement across the body’s central plane through eye movement, audio tones, or leg tapping) to safely access memories as they were traumatically stored.
Mechanism 2: Bilateral stimulation in addition to preparatory work (identifying negative emotions and beliefs about self and the world and positive beliefs you would like to hold about yourself and the world) will result in reprocessing of the memory in an adaptive way (i.e. the memory becomes desensitized).
Learn more about EMDR therapy by exploring our other EMDR centered blogs:
Negative Thoughts and Self-Fulfilling Prophecies Through an EMDR Therapy Lens
As explained above in Mechanism 2, a large component of EMDR is preparatory work, which involves history taking surrounding a trauma and how it impacts one’s worldview about others, themselves, and their emotions and behaviors on a daily basis.
An important note: unlike other trauma processing therapies, EMDR therapy does not require a fully detailed account of the trauma in full. Rather, history taking will assess for specific elements of the trauma that remain “stuck”, including an image that represents the worst part of the trauma, negative beliefs that relate to the trauma, emotions related to the trauma, levels of current distress associated with the trauma, and body sensations.
Negative beliefs that trauma survivors hold about themselves, the world and others often fall underneath these categories:
Responsibility (ex “This is my fault”, “I should have done more”)
Safety (ex “I will never be safe again”, “I cannot trust anyone”)
Control (ex “Nothing is up to me”, “What I say doesn’t matter”).
More than one belief can exist, and different beliefs related to different parts of the traumatic experience can also exist. Our thoughts- as well as emotions part of these thoughts- are large drivers in our conscious and unconscious actions in our present lives.
Realms of life that our thoughts can influence include and are not limited to:
The degree we allow ourselves closeness to others
How much we can ask others for help
The extent to which we leave the home
Our ability to complete tasks of daily living (hygiene, eating, cleaning, working)
Sexual intimacy and functioning
Sleep
While we largely think of our thoughts as internal and insulated processes, they do shape our external realities. A self-fulfilling prophecy is a phenomenon in which an individual’s thought or belief about how something will occur or the nature of something plays a role in how the event actually unfolds. Self-fulfilling prophecies illuminate the degree of autonomy we do hold in things that often seem outside of our control in both negative and positive ways.
Let’s use a general example of going on a first date to explore more.
A Positive Example from a Denver EMDR Therapy Session
Thought: I feel confident tonight will go well. If for some reason it doesn’t, I believe there are better fits out there for me and I will be okay.
Emotions: optimistic, grounded, open-minded, self-assured
Behaviors: arriving on time, engaging in conversation, sharing openly about oneself, asking questions about the other
Outcome: seemingly a good match off the bat, so a second date is planned
A Negative Example from a Denver EMDR Therapy Session
Thought: This is pointless. They are not going to like me, no one ever does, and it’s probably a waste of their time for me to come.
Emotions: discouragement, self-doubt, anxiety
Behaviors: fidgeting at the dinner table, not making eye contact, short replies
Outcome: potential partner reads your apprehension as disinterest and does not contact you for a second date.
Tying it All Together with an EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO.
As we see in both examples, 1) there is an interplay between one’s internal experience and expectations as well as the other person’s and 2) to some degree, our beliefs about what would likely happen are confirmed. When we experience trauma, it creates cycles of negative self-fulfilling prophecies that permeate our world and impact our relationships and view of self. Trauma robs us of the opportunity to see our present clearly- we are constantly battling the smog of the past from blocking our windshield.
Working with an EMDR therapist in Denver, CO can help:
Safely label and differentiate between elements inside the smog
Identify how these elements shape our daily lives
Process and clear the smog so we can have control over what we believe about ourselves
We’re here to support you! Work with an EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO.
Schedule a free 20-minute consult call to see if EMDR therapy in Denver is right for you.
Connect with the Denver EMDR therapist of your choice via a phone consult.
Begin your path towards trauma healing!
Meet The Writer: Jordan Kurtz, EMDR Therapist in Denver, CO.
Jordan Kurtz (she/her) is a Denver EMDR therapist, couples counselor, and staff writer at CZTG. Jordan focuses on therapy for grief, trauma, adolescence, and relationships. Her approach is authentic, warm, and affirming, which she interweaves throughout her use of advanced evidence-based modalities, including EMDR, Emotion Focused Therapy for Couples (EFT), and somatic therapy. She provides EMDR and general trauma therapy in Denver and virtually throughout the state of Colorado. If you’d like to work with Jordan, feel free to reach out to schedule a consultation call.