Youth Beyond The Binary: Ways We Can Support LGBTQ+ Teens on Their Journey of Self-Love and Self-Confidence
Written by Kile Atwater, an LGBTQ+ and Mental Health Advocate at CZ Therapy Group
Parents, is it okay if we have an honest conversation? No matter what position the world may have on equality and LGBTQ+ issues, we hope you know that your role as a parent is essential and crucial in providing the unconditional love, unwavering support, and genuine acceptance your teen deserves. So today, we want to address a significant gap in conversations around supporting teens by spotlighting the experiences of LGBTQ+ youth.
With legislation being put in place to erase and undermine the rights and protections of LGBTQ+ individuals, conversations like this are critical. So in this article, we will explore ways to empower and uplift LGBTQ+ teens, help them navigate their identities, and carve a beautiful space in this world that will let their authenticity shine.
This is an important blog on multiple fronts. At CZ Therapy Group, we are deeply committed to ensuring that every single teen feels seen, heard, and valued, regardless of their gender and sexuality. Plus, we want you to have access to valuable resources to empower your teen and your journey as a parent.
Understanding LGBTQ+ Identity: The Basics
But first, let's start with the basics. Before we can effectively support LGBTQ+ teens, it is crucial to understand what this acronym encompasses in the first place. LGBTQ+ stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and queer/questioning, with the "+" representing other sexual orientations and gender identities. Let's break this down further:
Sexual Orientation Vs. Gender Identity:
Sexual orientation refers to a person's emotional, romantic, or sexual attraction, while gender identity relates to one's internal sense of being male, female, non-binary, or gender non-conforming. If your teen has communicated that they may fall into any aspect of this umbrella, recognize that even having the courage to express this in the first place is a huge first step! This shows that they understand themselves and that your support as a parent is significant to them. And showing that you support them unconditionally will radically impact their lives and stand the test of time.
Pronouns and Why They Are Important:
Pronouns represent a person's gender identity and may allow them to express themselves authentically. Just as each teen is unique, so are their pronouns. Whether it's she/her, he/him, they/them, ze/zim, or other gender-expansive pronouns, honoring a teen's pronouns is a powerful affirmation of who they are. If your teen communicates that they use pronouns that may be different from those assigned at birth, allow them the agency to embrace this part of themselves. Lastly, it's important to note that it is totally okay if pronouns change for them on their journey of discovery, but remember that your love for your teen should remain the same regardless of how they explore their gender identity.
If any of these elements seem challenging, remember that it is okay to have questions. Don't hesitate to contact our Denver teen therapists for more support. We have queer-affirming therapists on deck who are more than capable of answering any questions and helping you and your teen on this journey in a safe and supportive environment.
Advocating for Inclusivity: Key Examples
Another great way to support your LGBTQ+ teen is to advocate for safe and inclusive environments. This may involve promoting acceptance, respect, and understanding among your peers, family members, and the community. Here are some practical examples of what this could look like:
Encourage Acceptance and Empathy
Foster an environment of acceptance and empathy within your family and social circles. One powerful example of this is the work of celebrity couple Gabrielle Union and Dwyane Wade. Their unwavering support for their transgender daughter, Zaya, has helped spark meaningful conversations about transgender rights, representation, and inclusivity. By publicly embracing and affirming Zaya's gender identity, they have inherently become advocates for queer youth and a beacon of hope for inclusivity.
Promote LGBTQ+ Representation
Try exposing your teen to diverse LGBTQ+ representation in media, literature, and the arts, and encourage them to explore age-appropriate movies and TV shows that feature LGBTQ+ characters and storylines. This exposure can help your teen better appreciate different perspectives and identities, fostering a sense of inclusivity in their worldview and showing them firsthand that they belong. Check out this list of family-friendly shows that you and your teen can watch together.
Advocate for LGBTQ+ Inclusive Policies
This may be difficult, but try to get involved in your teen's educational institutions and extracurricular activities to advocate for inclusive policies. Attend parent-teacher meetings, join school committees, or engage with student organizations like a gay-straight alliance to push for gender-neutral restrooms, inclusive curriculum, and supportive resources for LGBTQ+ students. By actively advocating for change, you contribute to a more inclusive and affirming environment for not only your teen but the LGBTQ+ community at large.
Encouraging Healthy Relationships for Your Teen
Teaching your child about healthy relationships is essential for their overall wellbeing. And this is even more important for our queer youth. This may involve educating them about consent, boundaries, and how to exhibit healthy communication skills. It may be hard to get your teen to open up, but if "How was your day?" doesn't suffice, here are some simple, open-ended questions you can ask at the dinner table that won't make your teen cringe.
How are your relationships going at school?
What are the qualities that are important to you in friendships?
Do you feel accepted in your relationships with others?
How would you like me to support you with your relationships?
Showing that you care about their relationships will deepen your connection with them and create a safe space for them to share and discuss their experiences. With this approach, you can foster trust in your growing teen and help them understand it's okay to seek guidance or support when needed.
LGBTQ+ support groups and resources
Representation matters! Having access to support groups can significantly impact the well-being of LGBTQ+ teens. Various trusted online support groups and resources can offer a sense of belonging and understanding, allowing parents and teens to share experiences, find solace, and build friendships with like-minded individuals.
Here are a few recommendations from the CDC that may help:
The Family Acceptance Project: The Family Acceptance Project, is a research, intervention, education, and policy initiative to prevent health and mental health risks for LGBT children and youth.
Coming Out - Information for Parents of LGBT Teens: Healthy Children gives vital information on how "Coming out" is a lifelong journey of understanding, acknowledging, and sharing one's gender identity and sexual orientation with others.
Sexual Attraction and Orientation: This is information for parents on how youth experience sexual attraction and orientation, as well as how you, as a parent or guardian, may feel about and deal with your child on this topic.
PFLAG: Founded in 1973, PFLAG is the first and largest organization dedicated to supporting, educating, and advocating for LGBTQ+ people and their families.
Overcoming Obstacles and Building Resilience: Why Your Support Matters
Research from the National Network for Youth Homelessness has shown that family conflict is the primary cause of homelessness for LGBTQ+ youth, disproportionately due to a lack of acceptance by family members of a youth's sexual orientation or gender identity.
So with that being said, in supporting your LGBTQ+ teen's overall well-being, it's essential to recognize the obstacles that this community often faces. Society's prejudice, personal challenges, and discrimination can significantly impact their lives. However, as a parent, you can profoundly impact their development.
You are taking a monumental step by wholeheartedly embracing your child for who they are and celebrating their uniqueness. So let's explore this powerful opportunity because, believe it or not, you can create a world where LGBTQ+ teens thrive and are supported by being their authentic selves. This may feel like the work of an advocate, an activist, a community leader, or a mentor, but as a parent, you are just as powerful, and your unwavering love can change their world.
Tying It All Together
We understand this journey is not easy, and this article is in no way meant to replace the support of a licensed therapist. But with this information, we hope to provide you with a clearer path forward. At Chadley Zobolas Therapy Group, we offer affirming and compassionate therapy for teens and young adults in the Denver, Colorado, and multiple of our therapists specifically specialize in working with queer teens.
Lastly, remember that supporting LGBTQ+ teens on their journey of self-love doesn't need to fall entirely on your shoulders; it is also a collective responsibility. By creating safe and inclusive environments, providing resources for self-discovery, and nurturing self-love and self-confidence, we can empower LGBTQ+ youth to embrace their authentic selves. By embracing our youth beyond the binary, we're ultimately creating a world where every teen can feel seen, celebrated, and supported.
Disclaimer: The information provided in this article is intended for informational purposes only and should not be considered a substitute for professional therapy or medical advice. It is essential to consult with a licensed therapist or healthcare professional for personalized guidance and support.
Teen Therapy in Denver, CO.
Read another blog post to learn more about how CZ Therapy Group structures teen therapy in Denver. If this seems like the support your teen is needing, reach out to us through the following steps to get started.
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