Time's Up - Right? Knowing When to End Therapy.
By Jordan Kurtz, Trauma and Relationship Therapist in Denver, CO
Hands up for those of us who have sustained any sort of medical injury or illness. Safe to assume the vast majority of us have in some degree, whether it be chronic or acute, internal or external, uncomfortable to deeply painful.
Traditional medical models identify the problem, prescribe a course of action to alleviate negative symptoms, and once the symptoms have abated, treatment is considered concluded: the cast is removed, the cavity is filled, the stitches have healed.
How does this translate to therapy, where the “problem” is typically more personal, symptoms fluctuate with time and circumstance, and the pains/discomfort we endure may never be able to be “cured”?
Many clients wonder how much therapy is enough, and because our world is dominated by a medical model, conclude “therapy is done when I feel better”. No clinician- therapists included- would dispute that we want our clients to feel better. Indeed, human evolution depends on our ability to develop technologies and pathways of connection that alleviate suffering. However, there is a difference between surviving and thriving, and surgeon and author Atul Gawande captures this important distinction well, “We have been wrong about what our job is in medicine. We think our job is to ensure health and survival. But really it is larger than that. It is to enable well-being”.
In most circumstances, quality therapy provides relief, whether it is immediate or gradual (ensuring health and survival).
However, if we allow the therapeutic process to continue beyond mere crisis resolution, we develop greater tolerance for future stressors, reflection capabilities, and greater harmony with all parts of ourselves (enabling well-being).
All elements of therapy are a voluntary process, including what you divulge to your therapist, when you start, and when you terminate- the official psychological term for concluding the therapeutic journey. For many, the end of the road is when things become better in the immediate: exiting an abusive relationship, communicating with an estranged parent for the first time, completing the first big project at a new job. There is no criticism in this: therapy offers a set of tools and some enter desiring specific tools and leave when they have obtained them. Yet we deny ourselves a chance at broadening and sustaining our toolkit when we leave the second we can catch our breath again.
Ask a therapist How many sessions will this take? and the answer will usually lay in a gray area or returned to you as, It is up to you.
Consider this: if your goal is ensure survival, perhaps the answer is fewer sessions. Though if you allow your goal to be enabling well-being, you may find the answer is indeterminable for now- and that’s okay.
Meet the Writer
Jordan (she/her) is a trauma and relationship therapist at CZTG who focuses on therapy for grief, trauma, adolescence, and couples. Jordan is authentic, warm, and affirming of her clients’ identities and experiences.
Interested in exploring what it would be like to start therapy and resonate with Jordan’s approach? Reach out for a free consult with Jordan to learn more about her work as a trauma therapist and relationship counselor in Denver, Colorado.